The Art of Learning To Love Yourself: Part 1

Sunday, 12 August 2018

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Hello beauties,

I hope you're all fabulous and enjoying the British sunshine. Oh hang on, I forgot: it's not sunny anymore, is it? I've literally lost the will to live with the British weather. After weeks of sweating like a pig in a tropical heat, with no warning the weather reverts back to torrential downpours and generally being miserable. And you know what that means? Leaving the house in a crop top, pair of denim shorts and flip-flops, only to find it's absolutely chucking it down. Nice. If you're reading this from an LA beach, I am, to say the least, very jealous of you right now.

Anyway, back to the blog post in hand. Today I thought I'd talk about body confidence because I think it's something we can all relate too. As human beings, we know that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. But is it just me or has the media come along with its cookie cutter and stamped out one ingrained definition?

A decade ago, we would pick up a glossy magazine and the front-cover would be plastered, festooned with images of these seemingly over worldly women who had shining hair, flawless skin, washboard abs and the tiniest waists. Either you would snatch it up, pay for the magazine and then avidly read it cover to cover, trying to absorb every single beauty secret from those gorgeous goddesses. Alternatively, you would place the magazine back on the shelf and leave the shop, empty-handed.

Whilst myriads of magazines continue to print these disingenuous fantasies, there now prevails a whole new can of worms which makes avoiding images a near impossible feat. And that is the ubiquitous world of social media.

Every day, our news feeds are inundated with a sporadic barrage of digitally altered selfies. You'll just be there, blissfully scrolling through your bestie's holiday selfies when BAM, a new photo pops up of some reality star in a bikini, flaunting the flattest abs you've ever seen. And just like that, you go from dreaming about the Spanish sun, Haagen-Dazs ice cream and all-you-can-eat paella, to being gripped by sudden nausea.

Your mind starts racing. You're thinking 'when am I going to go to the gym?', 'how am I ever going to be beach body ready in time?'. Subconsciously, you start comparing yourself, doubting yourself, berating yourself 'why don't I look like that?'.

For hours afterwards, that one image can dictate your mood or dominate your outlook. And over time, frequent exposure to those dazzling ideals can feed our insecurities, morph our body image and pretty much blind us to our own beauty, making us despise what we see in the mirror.

Studies have shown that there is a direct correlation between negative body image on social media to the development of reduced self-esteem, anxiety, depression, eating disorders and a number of other mental health conditions.

Growing up, I had very low body confidence and I feel the media was a huge factor of that. I used to worry profusely about all sorts of things, my skin and my weight in particular. Looking back, I can see now I was worrying over nothing. In spite of my imperfections, I was then and still am gorgeous. But unfortunately, our minds aren't always that rational and we can end up being our own worst enemies.

When I talked about my struggles with body confidence, I think a lot of people were quite shocked. As a girl with a visual impairment, many assumed I would stop caring what I or anything around me looked like. People my age would often say to me that I was lucky I couldn't see these images in the media since that meant I wouldn't be affected by them. And I just think this misconception about blind people not caring what they look like is just so ridiculous and almost laughable. Whether you can see or not, it makes no difference to how you dress or how superficial you are. I pride myself on how I look and that's just the way I roll because I'm normal. Even though I cannot see them, I still take loads of selfies of myself so of course I'm going to feel the same pressure as everyone else on social media. Perhaps I'm not affected by each individual image. Nonetheless, I can still visualise and relate to the ideals that these images portray, the narrow principles of what society considers to be beautiful.

Although I still worry from time to time about my body image, I have learnt to love myself and embrace my flaws. It does take a while to master the art of loving yourself, however with a few easy changes in your daily lifestyle, you will be well on your way to the destination of self-love and acceptance. Starting with social media.

Tune in tomorrow for part 2 of The Art to Learning to Love Yourself, where I, your motivational coach, will enlighten you and help you navigate your inner fabulousness. Oh dear, I'm beginning to sound like one of those old, bearded, hippy dudes (how extraordinarily tragic of me). Anyhow, tomorrow your carriage to body confidence awaits so be there or be square. Just joking, obvs. If you're busy watching Made In Chelsea Croatia, then fair play to you as that's precisely what I'll be doing. All the same, I would love it if you tuned in. Have an amazing day and see you soon xx

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