Hello beauties,
So 2019 is well under way and
between me and you, I have a strong feeling that this year is going to be a
pretty amazing one for all of us.
When we talk about New Year's
resolutions, we are primarily referring to physical lifestyle changes. These
often include going to the gym, eating more healthily and embarking on an
Instagram-inspired trend such as Veganuary. While leading an active and
healthier lifestyle is positive, I think some people are missing the point. A New
Year's resolution should be an ongoing goal. However for most, these lifestyle
changes are stuck to resolutely during the month of January and then by
February 1st, they are flung straight out the window.
In my opinion, what we should be
working towards is feeling good about ourselves and embracing who we are. We
should be striving to create positive
changes in not only our outlooks, but also the world around us.
Today's post is all about the
power of self-belief. There are times when I feel as though I'm being hit from
two sides with people underestimating me because I am both female and disabled.
Being susceptible to double discrimination, I have to work twice even three
times as hard to be accepted. Growing up, I've noticed in myself how people's
preconceptions can really take their toll on your mental health and confidence.
But being a driven person, I've never let it stop me or get in my way. Instead it has only motivated me to prove them wrong and be the most successful person I can
possibly be.
I want to tell you all that you
should always aim high, dream big and never quit on your ambition. I want to
show you that you can achieve anything and everything you put your mind too. So
without further ado, here are my top ten tips to get you believing in yourself.
1. Make a list of all your past
accomplishments.
Before we establish what you are
going to achieve, it is important to reflect upon all the things you have
excelled at during your life and what you are most proud of. These achievements
don't have to be directly related to your future ambitions; they just need to
be situations where you showed determination.
After completing your list, try
to identify the skills you either used or gained for each achievement. Make a
second column and write down these skills.
If you're having a bad day and
the self-doubt starts creeping in, these two lists are going to be your main
port of call for inspiration and confidence. Serving as a manifestation of your
awesomeness, they are there to reinforce your strengths, talents and
capabilities whilst also giving those pesky insecurities a kicking.
2. Identify your ultimate
ambition.
Granted, you may have a ton of
dreams you wish to make a reality, such as meeting your favourite celeb (in my
case Shawn Mendes) or owning a Chanel 2.55. And that's brilliant. But at the end of the day,
you have to ask yourself a question: what is the most important goal I would
like to reach in my life?
Come up with one to three at the
very most and write these down in a separate list. Contemplate what your heart
truly desires. This is your future and you can do anything you want to do.
Therefore, while advice is extremely valuable, don't let yourself be led by
others down a path you do not wish to pursue.
Here are my three main ambitions:
• To be a journalist writing for
a major publication
• To empower women and girls
through my writing
• To work in New York City
Having a clear objective is your
key to being successful. It puts everything into focus and provides you with a
strong sense of resolve. Particularly on those days where all you want to do is
hibernate, these aspirations will get you out of bed and galvanise you to take
action.
3. Break ambitions down into
bite-size chunks.
Ok, so you know where your end destination
lies. But how do you intend to get there?
Say for example, you are catching
the train to a place you've never visited before. You wouldn't just jump on the
first train that pulls into the platform and hope that it stops off at your destination. Instead, you would plan ahead, checking train times, where it
stops etc.
For your future, it's a similar
principle. You're going to have to map out your journey, research your area,
establish whether there are qualifications you require or certain steps you
need to take. Especially if your future goal is a long way off, it's important
to consider the amount of time, work and persistence that you will have to
maintain.
Breaking ambitions down into
smaller milestones will help you stay on track and keep you motivated. As a
guide, use the following structure.
Where do I want to be in:
• One year
• Three years
• Five years
• Ten years
4. Dream big but with realistic
expectations.
I am a strong believer of the
notion that we should always aim high.
On many occasions in my life,
people have been sceptical about my potential and some have even suggested I
aim lower due to my disability. I've been told that it's unlikely I will get a
job for a major publication since they are very competitive. Additionally, people
have asked me 'why do you want to work in a different country when you're blind
because surely that's just making life harder for yourself?'. Every single
time, I have looked them in the eye and said 'no, this is my dream and I am
going to achieve it'.
There is a difference between
being constructive and downright condescending. If a person straight up tells
you that you cannot achieve your goal, then please, please, please do not listen to
them. I don't care if that dream crusher's job title is a career's advisor: the
fact of the matter is they are talking absolute trash. You are the only person
who knows your full potential. And as long as you keep going and keep believing
in yourself, then I can guarantee you will get there eventually.
What you have to do though is be
open-minded. Say you wanted to run a marathon, having never so much as jogged
in your life. You wouldn't just wake up one day and go run a casual 40k because
let's be honest you would probably die. Conversely, you would endure months of
training, gradually building the distance up and up until you reached the
required level of fitness. With your career and other goals, it works the same.
Be aware that things don't happen overnight. And if they do, it's incredibly
rare.
5. Reward yourself when you reach
a milestone.
However major or minor, it is
vital that you pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself on your
achievements. To celebrate, do the things that make you feel awesome, whether
that be going out for cocktails with friends and family; treating yourself to
something new; or ordering in a takeaway and catching up on your favourite
shows.
6. Measure your progress.
It's important that you can
acknowledge how much you've improved overtime as it will help to build your
confidence no end. Personally, I've kept every last one of my articles and
pieces of writing. Often, I will look back at them and although many of the old
pieces make me cringe, I'm able to see how much my writing style has improved
which is so positive.
7. Let failure be a lesson, not a
setback.
Nobody likes the feeling of
failure. When you've put your heart and soul into something and it doesn't pay
off, it can feel soul-destroying. And that's normal. But what counts is how you
take that failure, how you overcome it and how you move forward towards your
goal. Look at it this way: if you made a mistake, at least now you can see
where you went wrong. If possible, try to obtain feedback and constructive
criticism which will help you establish your weaknesses and how to work on
them. If you can go away, take on board that feedback and learn from it, you
will come back stronger than ever.
Every person who is successful has
failed at something in their lives. For example, JK Rowling, one of the most
legendary writers of all time, encountered a number of rejections from
publishers before she hit it big. But if she had let those rejections stop her,
if she had given up there and then, she would not be where she is today. Plus,
we would be living in a world where Harry Potter did not exist which would be
the most depressing thing ever.
8. Talk to the people who you love.
If you're seeking reassurance and
honesty, then go to the people who you trust the most. They know you better
than anybody else and only want the best
for you. Therefore, you can be satisfied that their opinion will be genuine.
Whereas, if you go to someone who doesn't know you that well, they are more
likely to give a noncommittal or inaccurate response.
9. Don't be afraid to take risks.
Staying in your comfort zone may
feel like the idyllic place, but it's really not. You have the potential to do
incredible things. However, sitting around and waiting is not going to make the
puzzle pieces fall into place. If you want to be successful, you have to put
yourself out there and give it everything you've got. What's the worst that
could happen? Either you get a rejection which you'll learn from. Or, that risk
turns out to be the best decision you've ever made.
At the end of the day, you just
don't know which way it will go. But it's a thousand times better to try than
not do anything.
10. Own It
Never downplay your successes. Be
proud of your accomplishments and don't be afraid to tell people what you're
good at.
Sometimes I feel as though our
society is built upon a myriad of mixed messages. On the one hand, we are told
from a young age that we should be proud of our achievements and strengths.
However on the other hand, when we openly express that self-love or pride,
there are people out there who will raise their eyebrows and assume we must be
narcissistic. I honestly find it ridiculous. We shouldn't be encouraging girls
to be modest and demure. We should be empowering them to be strong, independent
and ambitious.
Before I leave you, I have one
more thing to say. Anything is possible with a little bit of self-belief. Keep
going even when the going gets tough, because you will without a shadow of a
doubt achieve your dreams.
